Borrowed Thread is out now.
This song is a bit of a rollercoaster.
The production doesnt stay in one place for very long. It can feel lighter and almost playful, then suddenly become anxious, emotional or desperate.
Honestly, it sounds a little like an ADHD mind feels.
One thought arrives before the last one is finished. You make a joke, remember something painful, become angry and then somehow convince yourself everything is fine again.
The changing sound fits the lyrics because the person inside the song keeps changing her mind.
Borrowed Thread can be heard from two different perspectives.
It can be about another person—somebody you used like medicine because their love made everything hurt less.
It can also sound like a conversation with yourself, addiction or medication you hoped would fix something inside you.
“I stitched myself up with borrowed thread
You were the cure that never set.”
Borrowed thread can hold something together, but it is temporary. You are depending on something outside yourself to stop everything from opening again.
Sometimes that thread is another person.
You meet somebody who quiets your anxiety. You sleep better when they are beside you and the thoughts inside your head dont feel as loud.
For awhile, you believe that must be healing.
But maybe you arent getting better.
Maybe you are only hiding the damage inside a relationship.
“I was healing wrong and couldn’t tell
If I was getting better or just hiding it well.”
When you have spent alot of your life surviving, relief can feel exactly like recovery.The song uses medication language because thats what this kind of love can become.
A dose.A temporary cure. Something you return to whenever the feelings become too difficult.
“I read the label, ignored the dose
Took more of you than I needed most.”
There is humour in the lyrics too, even though the subject isnt really funny.
“I’m not addicted, I can quit anytime
I’ve quit you seventeen times.”
Anybody who has dealt with addiction probably knows how familiar that sounds.
You tell yourself you can stop whenever you want. You stay away for awhile, then return and use that time apart as proof that you still have control.
Relationships can become like that too.
You block their number, delete the messages and promise everybody you are finally done. Then the night gets quiet and one more conversation doesnt seem like it could hurt.
The chorus is where the anxiety takes over.
“I’m going down down down
I let my anxiety win again.”
The production becomes bigger and the thoughts begin colliding.
“Stitch me up up up
Stitch me up
Before I unthread again.”
She knows the thread is borrowed. She knows this isnt real healing, but she is terrified of what might happen if everything holding her together comes loose.
The song later moves into a stage and theatre feeling.
“The curtain’s been falling for years
I’ve been taking my bows through the tears.”
That line is about performing okay.
You smile, go to work and keep moving. People see you standing there, so they assume you must be fine.
They dont see what happens after the show ends.
The medication language can be a metaphor for another person, but it can also be more literal. It can describe placing all your hope into something you believed would fix you, then feeling confused when you still dont feel okay.
This isnt saying medication is bad or that anybody should stop taking it. It is about expecting one person, prescription or coping mechanism to repair everything.
Eventually you still have to be honest about what hurts.
“You don’t fix what you don’t confess.”
The final section is where the song stops pretending it has learned its lesson.
“Maybe I don’t need to be fixed
Maybe I’ll just go back to you.”
That is the relapse.
It could mean returning to a person, returning to an addiction or going back to the same coping mechanism because facing life without it feels worse.
The last lines dont give the song a clean ending.
“I know this isn’t how healing goes
But I’ll take you over letting go.”
Sometimes people know something isnt healthy and still arent ready to lose the relief it gives them.
Borrowed Thread is about using love like medicine, becoming dependent on that relief and realizing the thing holding you together may also be keeping you from learning how to hold yourself together.
The production follows that fight the entire way.WA
It changes, interrupts itself and moves between humour, anxiety, anger and desperation because healing doesnt happen in one straight line.
“Relief is not always the same as healing.”
“You dont fix what you refuse to name.”
“Going back can feel easier than letting go.”
“You deserve more than borrowed thread.”
Borrowed Thread is out now. You can listen by following the link below.
Kelsey Rodgers
💜