Some songs tell you exactly what happened.
Day Nine is more about what happened afterward.
We worked on this song with someone close to us who had lost a baby through miscarriage.
She helped us write about the loss, but also about what came next—the waiting, trying again and wondering how much more two people can carry before something between them starts to break.
The song begins with:
“Just one more try, maybe this time it’ll take
But how much more can we give before we break”
Every new attempt came with hope, but that hope also became scary.
You want to believe this time will be different.
You try to stay positive and follow the advice.
You do everything people tell you to do.
But somewhere underneath that hope is the memory of what happened before.
She talked about feeling like they had done everything they were supposed to do. They built their lives, loved each other and planned for a future together.
But after the miscarriage and the attempts that followed, they started asking a question they never expected to ask:
If it remains only the two of us, will that be enough?
That question wasnt about whether they still loved each other.
They did.
It came from realizing the future they had pictured might not happen the way they expected. They still had each other, but the loss placed a strain on the relationship.
They were both hurting, just differently.
She wanted to talk about it. She wanted reassurance that the baby mattered and that she wasnt alone in what she felt.
Her partner became more quiet and tried to hold everything together.
Sometimes his silence felt like he was moving on.
Sometimes her need to keep talking felt like a reminder he wasnt ready to face.
Neither one was trying to hurt the other.
They just didnt know how to grieve in the same language.
The chorus says:
“Another congratulations for the ones who aren’t us
We smile through the joy…”
That feeling can be difficult to admit.
You can genuinely love somebody and feel happy about their pregnancy while also going home and crying about your own loss.
Those emotions dont cancel each other out.
It isnt jealousy.
Its grief showing up during a moment when everybody expects you to smile.
Every announcement becomes a reminder of the congratulations you were hoping to receive.
You celebrate with somebody else while quietly wondering when it will finally be your turn—or whether it ever will be.
The song also talks about how the relationship changed:
“We used to go out, lose ourselves in the night
Now the quiet just echoes, and nothing feels right”
Before the loss, they could go out, have a drink and enjoy being together without every conversation leading back to pregnancy.
Afterward, even the quiet felt different.
The miscarriage became something they carried privately. They didnt always tell people what happened, so they had to act normal around friends and family while everything between them felt completely different.
One of the most important lines in the song is:
“There’s more that defines me than being a mommy”
She wanted to become a mother, but she didnt want her entire worth to be decided by whether she could have a baby.
Those are two different things.
You can desperately want to become a parent while still needing to remember that you were already a whole person before that dream began.
Your body is not a failure.
Your value does not disappear because a pregnancy ended.
Near the end of the song, her partner tells her that brighter days are ahead. He tries to make the night feel normal again and remind her that they still have each other.
It doesnt magically fix anything.
Love cant undo a miscarriage.
It cant remove the fear from the next attempt.
It cant make grief disappear when another announcement arrives.
But love can give two people a reason to keep reaching for each other.
That is what Day Nine is really about.
It is about two people who experienced the same loss differently. Their relationship became strained, conversations became harder and there were moments when both of them felt alone.
But underneath all of it, the love was still there.
They still had each other.
And even when hope passed them by again, they tried to believe their relationship could survive what happened.
We also need to talk more openly about miscarriage and the emotions that follow it. Not only the physical loss, but the guilt, waiting, relationship strain and fear that can stay long afterward.
Nobody should have to carry all of that quietly.
“Being happy for somebody else doesnt mean your own loss hurts any less.”
“Two people can share the same grief without feeling it the same way.”
“Your worth is not measured by whether you become a mother.”
“Love cannot erase the loss, but it can help you find each other again.”
Day Nine is out now. You can listen by following the link below.
Kelsey Rodgers
💜