Last year I wrote about the freedom to be seen.
A year later, I think I left something out.
Being seen matters.
But so does being allowed to change after people have already seen you.
After they think they know exactly who you are.
Sometimes the hardest part isnt telling people who you are.
Its telling them the version they became comfortable with doesnt fit you anymore.
Maybe you use a different name now.
Maybe your pronouns changed.
Maybe the label you chose five years ago doesnt feel right anymore.
That doesnt mean you lied.
It means you kept learning about yourself.
I have old notebooks filled with thoughts that dont sound like me now. Some pages came from versions of myself who believed completely different things about love, life and who I was supposed to become.
Those pages were still honest when I wrote them. I just understand myself differently now. Pride makes room for people to say, “This is who I am.” It should also make room for somebody to say, “I understand myself differently now.”
That second sentence can be harder.
People may ask why you didnt know sooner. They might act like your identity creates extra work for them, or demand an explanation before they agree to respect it.
But another person’s growth is not an inconvenience.
If somebody asks you to use a different name, you dont need their entire history before you try.
If somebody tells you their identity has changed, you dont need to compare it with something they said years ago like you caught them doing something wrong.
You can simply make room.
Making space is not always some huge public gesture.
Sometimes it means correcting yourself and continuing the conversation without making the other person comfort you.
Sometimes it means keeping something private because they trusted you with it.
Sometimes it is inviting somebody without assuming who they will bring.
Sometimes it is just listening.
There are also people who dont know yet.
They might attend Pride with friends and call themselves an ally because thats the safest word available right now. They might recognize themselves in somebody else’s story, then spend months pretending they didnt.
They might feel completely comfortable without a label at all.
Leave room for them too.
Nobody should feel pressured to choose a permanent answer just so everybody else can understand them more easily.
I have changed alot in my own life.
There were versions of me that stayed quiet.
Versions that made terrible choices.
Versions that genuinely believed they would never live differently.
Changing while people are watching can feel uncomfortable.
Some people will support you. Others have already decided who you are and dont know what to do when you stop being that person.
They may hold onto your oldest mistakes because it makes your growth easier for them to ignore.
But you are still allowed to grow.
Pride exists because people fought for the right to live honestly, even when that honesty made other people uncomfortable.
That freedom should include the right to keep discovering yourself. You are not required to become one finished version and stay there forever. You can change your name, your labels, your relationships and the future you once pictured.
You can realize you were wrong about yourself without being ashamed that it took time. You can also remain exactly who you have always known yourself to be.
There isnt one correct way to arrive.
This Pride, I dont only want to celebrate people for being visible.
I want to celebrate the courage it takes to update the world after the world thinks it already knows you.
“You are not dishonest because you understand yourself differently now.”
“Use the new name without demanding the old story.”
“Give people room to arrive in their own time.”
“Nobody owes the world a final version of themselves.”
Pride should not feel like an audition where you have to prove you belong. Come as the version of yourself you understand today. If that version changes tomorrow, there should still be room for you.
Kelsey Rodgers
💜